6 Things That Happen to Someone with Depression After a Breakup
1. You break
Not only does your relationship break, but you do as well. The pain becomes overwhelming. You feel it in your bones. You begin to lose control of your thoughts, your actions, and you feel yourself fall apart at any given moment and at any given time. Everything reminds you of them which makes sure it feels like the tears will never end. Your memory has some lapses and you may forget your meds which don’t help the situation one bit – skipping your meds in fact make the pain feel one hundred percent worse.
2. You isolate & question
You don’t seem to want to go hang out with friends, you simply just don’t have the energy. You don’t want to think about another guy(or girl). You stay home thinking; “Where did everything go wrong?” “What could I have done differently?” “Did I fight hard enough for us?” “What’s going to change now?” “Will I still have the same friends?”
You stay home and ruminate all these questions and more. It drives you crazy and it doesn’t seem to end.
3. You contemplate suicide
You’ve taken your situation as a catastrophe. How can you live without your person that has been a part of your life for so long? Change is so scary and not always welcome. Everything hurts and you just want the pain to end. How do you make it end? You begin to think of solutions, and as you’re still broken, you don’t think straight and this is one of the things that come to mind.
4. You realize who is there during your dark times
Breakups are hard and it doesn’t take long for the news to spread to your friends and family. Though at this time, you’ll find who reaches out to you and who is there for you during your breakup. Being depressed as well, you only have a select few friends and family that you trust to really be there for you. There will be some that will tell you “It’s not the end of the world.” “You’ll find someone better.” Which is all true but in the beginning, you just want a shoulder to cry on, someone to listen to you, someone to just be good company as you’re feeling immense loneliness. These are the friends that despite your desire of isolation, help you break out of it, even if it’s for something so small. They text you a “Hello, how are you?” during the day, they pick you up for coffee, they take you for walks. These are the best friends that make the extra effort for you and ensure you know you are loved.
5. You learn independence
Single life is seemingly more different than being in your relationship. You don’t have ‘obligations’ (I say it in quotations as I know many of you enjoy doing these things) to make dinner plans with that particular person, you don’t have to follow up with them during the day, you don’t have to think of ways to be sweet and romantic. You begin to do all these things for yourself. You end up with a lot of alone time, which in the beginning is extremely difficult as you felt isolated, however you’ll slowly begin to embrace the alone time as you start to focus on yourself. You take yourself on dinner dates whenever you want, you buy yourself random treats because you know you deserve it, you begin to take care of yourself more than you ever have. You find yourself finally smiling again and even enjoying your own company.
6. You begin to grow and realize how far you’ve come
I’ll forever remember something that a friend told me when I was going through a rough time: “Elaine, in a year from now you’re going to look back at today and realize you’ve come out stronger and are in a better place.”
You might not feel it now, but it really is true. Twelve months seems far away. And it really is. But it goes by quickly and before you know it, you’ve forgotten how it felt twelve months ago when the breakup was fresh. You’ve stopped questioning that relationship and have accepted that it just wasn’t meant to be.