How to Live Happier By Putting Yourself First
Raise your hand if you watch the American series, Suits.
Man, that’s a lot of you. It’s good huh?
Well, one of my favorite characters is Harvey (after would be Donna), but only because of his attitude. One of his quotes that is my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE would be:
“Have you ever loved someone so much you would do anything for them? Well, make that someone yourself and do whatever the hell you want.”
This quote has so much meaning for me – it has only been until recently that I began to put myself first, and I tell ya, it feels freaken amazing.
Honestly, for most of my life I have always put my friends and family first before me. No matter how I was feeling, no matter how much money I had, I would go to the end of the earth making sure they were taken care of and happy. The sad part about that is, when you do this, who’s taking care of you? Who’s making sure YOU are happy?
(Well usually anyway.)
But by then you’re probably the type of person that feels uncomfortable when someone does something nice for you or ensures you of your own happiness. It’s just a natural feeling to people like us.
One day I snapped. One day I realized that I kept putting others first and that made me suffer. I wasn’t the best I could be and I finally figured out why. I was on the back burner to my OWN life. And honestly, it really shouldn’t be that way. So here’s a few situations I’ve done to put myself first:
Ok hear me out(since this is from personal experience). When I would be with someone trying to decide to eat, I would always make the compromise and make sure the options are things that this person liked. Even if I didn’t like that food or didn’t feel like having it, I would tell myself that I could find something on the menu anyway because luckily I’m not a picky eater. But really, how many times would I be “sucking it up” to just make my friend happy.
I began to be a bit more vocal in where to go for our meals, but of course compromised and didn’t go to my choice EVERY single time – I just gave myself more leverage and boy does it feel good to actually go somewhere you want to go, eat what you want to eat.
As long as it’s in the budget – I’ve learned to take some time for myself. If this means splurging on that Starbucks latte and hanging out reading a book, taking a bubble bath, or getting my nails done at an actual salon, self care is so important. When you start to take time to be alone and enjoy that YOU are the only one that matters in that moment – it’s really invigorating. It’s relaxing. It recharges you.
We normally run such busy and fast lives that we forget to set aside some time for ourselves. We need that time to breathe. Also another reason I journal – it’s a few seconds or minutes out of my day to work in my 90 Second Journal, and even for that moment, I get to write about me.
“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it.” – M. Scott Peck
Goals & Dreams
So this is for both long and short term goals. I’ve realized when setting a few goals and thinking of my dreams, I tend to think of others and my relationship and how it would affect them. But really, I would think how could I truly be happy without fulfilling my OWN goals and my OWN dreams they way I wanted to. There may always be a shroud of doubt, the what ifs. I know in relationships you should consult your ‘other half’ and it’s hard not to, but if you absolutely want kids and they don’t, or if you want to do more traveling, or if it was your dream to move somewhere, aim for a certain job, go back to school, please think of what will make YOU happy in the long run.
A goal for me was to start my own business. This is something I want to do for myself, something I know that would make me truly happy, and it’s about time I put it first and really work towards this goal. (Just hard because I have so many ideas!) With this goal, I can only surround myself with people who would support me and lift me up – not with those that would get in the way.
Try Something New
I truly believe that stepping out of your comfort zone helps us grow so much as an individual. Strike up a conversation with a stranger, learn to knit, join a sports team – the sky is the limit for you. It’s hard to jump right in but a good example was my hair. I haven’t dyed my hair for probably 10 years, so I have extremely healthy, thick, virgin hair that went down to my butt. It really was like a security blanket to me, having such long hair. But I knew it was time for change, time for a new start. So I finally decided to cut my hair, with enough length to at least donate to the Canadian Cancer Society (Pantene Canada). It’s pretty scary because I lost about a foot of hair, but it also felt really really good. I felt refreshed with a new hairstyle and now am considering cutting more off and color treating it for the first time in 10 years. It very much is invigorating and I almost felt more powerful.
Also guys, check out this absolutely beautiful blogger, Elle here. She is an amazing inspiration and looks at life the way we all should. With love and an open mind.
How are you putting yourself first? Have any ideas for me? Let me know below in the comments!